Maddy's First Month, First Christmas and First New Year!

By the time Christmas rolled over, Maddy had just turned a month old. [As of this writing, she's almost 7 weeks old already]

Take heed: a four-week old newborn has no schedule whatsoever. For one, newborns cannot distinguish day time and night time yet. While adult sleep is based on circadian rhythms, where our exposure to light guides our internal clock, newborns don't have a circadian rhythm yet.  Second, newborns really sleep more than adults do - around 15-16 hours a day, spread over several naps.

So for the first 4 weeks post-partum, I would cry in earnest out of exhaustion. She would be asleep in a consistent pattern of 2-3 hours during the day, but would be up and fussy at night. I was feeding her during the ungodly hours of 2am and 4am. Then I had to be up by 6:30am so I could hand her over to the yaya, so that they could go out for morning sunlight to prevent jaundice. I would then get around 30 minutes of sleep, before the yaya would knock on my door telling me Maddy wants to be fed. If I was lucky, sometimes I'd get an hour of sleep instead. 

I would handle the exhaustion by taking naps during the day when Maddy was also napping. I also had work-withdrawal symptoms. I have been so used to being so busy and active, that lounging around the house at my baby's beck and call was mentally draining. So I was checking my work emails during the first few weeks even if I was on maternity leave. I would also call up my officemates and just chat for a few minutes. 

Aside from napping, I credit surviving the first 4 weeks to the following:

1. My in-laws - They are really a godsend. My own family is in Manila, so aside from the visit from my siblings and a few friends, I was pretty much by my lonesome the whole day.  Maddy was mostly asleep though through all of the visits!

(Uncle Jeric and Kriska)

(Auntie Moe)

(Di-yi and Sah-yi)

(Auntie Miki and Leah)

My MIL would come here often, so she could help watch Maddy while I get my much needed rest. Since my brain also couldn't function the first couple of weeks to plan our house menu and groceries, my in-laws came over with food. When I started pumping to store milk, my MIL would watch Maddy for a few hours while I left the house to go to the mall to unwind.

(Mom)

2. Our Yaya Bibit - Yaya Bibit is our helper's aunt, which was a relief because at least she's not a random stranger. What I love about her is that she's already a mother to 3 kids, so she has a lot of experience with caring for newborns. She's also kind and very motherly. At first we were inclined to hire someone younger, who could work faster, and could read well (to recite and sing nursery rhymes and songs to Maddy). But after seeing how Yaya Bibit has been the past couple of months, I'm convinced we made the right decision. However, a word of advice regarding older yayas who are also themselves mothers - they will be used to a certain way of handling children as they have handled theirs, which may not be appealing to you. For example, Bibit has a habit of over-wrapping Maddy with blankets, convinced that it's cold ... when it's not. I keep telling her the city is not the same as the province, where it's cooler. She also pats Maddy to soothe her a bit too strongly than we'd like, so we point it out to her.

(At the Wong-Castillo Christmas Party; Yaya Bibit is a bit shy, didn't want to look at the camera)

3. Have a routine

No matter how unscheduled Maddy's first weeks were, I still tried to put a routine in place. This helps develop and set Maddy's biological clock. 

First, we always make sure it's bright with sunlight in her room or where she sleeps and we don't minimize regular daytime noises like the helper's radio, or the window to her room is open so the barking dogs and the neighbors' karaoke can still be heard. We just try to avoid really loud sounds which can wake her up like banging pots and pans.

Second, we try to have a regular morning bath time schedule between 7:30-8am. When I get back to work, we'll need to leave the house by 8am to drop her off at my in-laws', so I need Maddy to be used to waking up and getting ready at or before 8am.

Third, we talk, sing or play with her when she is awake. Sometimes, she prefers to quietly just move around in her crib so we just talk to her in equally quiet, soothing voices so we don't overstimulate her.

Fourth, we have a bedtime routine where at around 7-8pm when she's in between feeds or in a quiet-awake mode, we give her a sponge bath and change her into her pajamas. I then nurse her while either reading a story to her, playing her favorites like Michael Buble, Il Divo or Rod Stewart or also singing her favorites - A Whole New World, Can You Feel the Love Tonight, and classic Chinese songs which I still remember like 梅花, 龙的传人, 月亮代表我的心，or Andy Lau's 中国人! Haha!

We also make our bedroom, which is where she sleeps at night, "sleepy" by opening the aircon already, dimming the lights, and keeping our voices to a murmur.

The bedtime routine was hard to maintain over the holidays when dinners ran long and relatives would want to play or hold her even when she's sleepy, but we're back to regular programming now.

4. Keep a logbook

Lactation consultants and some midwives and pediatricians recommend keeping a log of the baby's feeding schedules (and for lactation consultants, which boob side did you feed with) and dirty/wet diapers, to monitor if the baby is being sufficiently fed.

For the first few weeks as I was getting a handle on breastfeeding and developing a proper milk supply, I would always note which boob side I fed with, so I would remember to feed with the other boob the next session. It was harder to remember that little detail before since I had so little sleep. Now though that I feel more like my regular self and considering that I've started pumping, it's easier to me to remember which boob I fed with, since it's the unoffered breast that I pump. 

My logbook contains her feeding times and sleeping times, including the number of or when a wet or dirty diaper was changed. Personally, I also added another column for how many hours/minutes of nap or sleep time I got within the day. I needed to do this because the only way I can pyschologically feel well-rested is if I know I've gotten an accumulated 6-7 hours of sleep. Yes, my sleep now is a sum total of naps. I have not had more than 2 hours of sleep at one time since I gave birth.

(my logbook and sample entry page)

Keeping a logbook helps make me feel like I have a handle on things, even if I may not. It gives me a sense of security knowing all these little details, because sometimes I recognize a pattern. Like I can tell when and how long she usually cluster feeds (early evening or midnight, for 3 hours usually), how many diapers she goes through in a day (8-10 now, 10-12 before), how long she needs to feed before she's satiated, when her longer sleep hours are (after her bath and also around 1-2am).

Her first Christmas and New Year, as are also my firsts here in Cebu, were relatively uneventful. Christmas Eve was spent at Auntie Estee's house, where we stayed til 2am (good thing I took a nap that afternoon).

(the cousins goofing around at the Wong Christmas Eve dinner)

(whipped!)

 (obligatory family picture on Christmas Day)

 (Merry Christmas from the Wongs!)

We also had a Christmas dinner at the in-laws with the Tiu side. The great thing with having these dinners in someone's house instead of at a restaurant is I can easily breastfeed.

(feeding the extra-fussy little girl that evening)

(Merry Christmas from the Tius!)

On New Year's Eve, we were just at home and the in-laws were staying over since the fireworks were better from our balcony than theirs. Aunt Mimi invited us over to their condo in the next tower for media noche, but I didn't really want to leave Maddy behind, so we celebrated New Year's with her feeding just a few minutes before midnight and until a few minutes into the new year.

(Happy New Year!) 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!