Back to Work

During the first few weeks post-partum, I wanted to so much to go back to work. I was bored. Maddy was sleeping basically 24/7. I was just stuck at home. My family was in Manila. 

Then after my post-partum blues ended, I became so enamored with Maddy that I contemplated not going back to work. I downright dreaded not seeing Maddy the whole day. When I go out on errands, I only disappear for 3-4 hours at a time, and rush back home.

Last Friday was my first day back at the office (lucky that my maternity leave ended on a Thursday so I wouldn't have to suffer a whole week back at work missing Maddy so much). 

Going back to work isn't as simple as leaving the house at 8am (the good thing with Cebu City is that my office is just around a 15-minute drive from the house) and coming back home at 5:30pm.

We've decided to leave Maddy with my in-laws when I'm at work, since their house is closer to the office than ours. I can rush over or they can rush over if there's an emergency.

This means that Maddy leaves the house with us and gets dropped off at the in-laws'. And this involves a huge production/logistical nightmare. We have to transfer the milk from the storage cups to milk bottles. I make sure to pack around 6 3-oz milk for them to cover her needs for the day. We pack those bottles in a cooler. Then there's the diaper bag. There's also the stroller so she can go around the house without needing to be carried. There's also my work bag and huge pump bag,with my own cooler for bringing milk home. There's also another bag for the bottle warmer.

Simple? Still no.

I wake up at 6:30am to pump fresh milk for them to bring along the ride going to the in-laws, which doesn't need to be heated, in case she gets hungry before reaching her destination. I take a quick shower after pumping, so I can make sure to feed her before leaving the house. I've stopped eating breakfast at home. I've packed up my oatmeal and milo in tupperwares and stocked them at my office cubicle. I go to the office around 15min earlier than punch in time just so I can eat breakfast there :(

Pumping in the office isn't so hard, but I've yet to get a real schedule down. Right now it feels more like I go to the office just to pump milk instead of working. Since my boobs are so used to being milked every hour or so, when I was just at home with Maddy, they hurt every hour or so in the office. This means I have to pump every 1-1.5 hours. Which again is such a big production. Over my head goes the nursing cover or shawl. Take out the pump parts and motor from the bag. Plug it in. Answer work call. Screw in the milk storage container. Maneuver your boob out of your blouse without flashing passers-by from your cubicle. Pump. Type in work laptop and get some work in. Try to get the pump+container out from the blouse without spilling milk (never successful. I have milk on my hands, my blouse, my pants. I smell like milk the whole day). Screw on lid of container. Answer work call again. Keep pump parts and milk in cooler. Repeat in an hour. GAWD.

Then lunchtime I go over to the in laws to see Maddy and to nurse her so she doesn't have to go through a bottle.

For the past 3 days I've started working, I've basically nursed at around 7:30am before leaving the house, pumped at 9:30am, 11:30am, nursed at 12/noon, pumped at 1:30pm, 3:30pm and then 5pm before leaving the office.

Exhausting.

Will keep you all posted.

Emotional benefits of breastfeeding

I don't really want to go on and on about the nutritional benefits of breastfeeding (plus, it's free - for the kuripot in me). 

My parents regularly ask me why I keep on breastfeeding, why I don't just feed her formula because it's convenient and so that my boobs don't sag (yes, the last one came from my mom; very concerned about my boobs), how long was I going to keep this up.

Well. My mom only breastfed me for around 2 weeks or less. So..I've been breastfeeding for 2 months. Achieve na achieve nako. Of course I've thought about formula feeding! It'll mean no more being sought out at random times and in random public places to nurse. It also means no more loose or button-down blouses, and I can actually wear something nice without having to worry about how in the world will I find access to my boobs for feeding or pumping. No more scouring for feeding or pumping areas everytime we go somewhere new. I wouldn't have to be constricted to a certain radius from the nearest lactation or nursing room. I wouldn't have to carry around a huge pumping bag filled with pumping paraphernalia, looking incredibly unfashionable.

In fact, if I don't want to give up giving her breastmilk, why don't I just opt to pump exclusively and feed her from the bottle everytime?

But the moment Maddy latches on during direct feed, all the abovementioned fade into unmentionables. No nipple confusion for this little lady - she clearly prefers mommy's breast over a bottle anytime. The feeling of closeness, our bonding time at the breast, is really precious.

There are a few articles I've read online that really resonate with me, and I'd like to quote them as follows:

--> New Mamas Get Nothing Done (and Other Untruths)

"But here’s where it gets interesting: As much as you need and want a break now (and you should take one, more on that later), no mother has ever looked back on this time and thought, “I wish I had held my baby less.” You will not remember the dishes that didn’t get done, the vacuuming that you just couldn’t make happen, or the dirty clothes you wore more often than you’d like to admit. You will remember the first smile, the first belly laugh, the first words, the first steps. You will remember the way you looked at your baby, and the way your baby looked at you.

So the next time you find yourself wondering how another day is gone and nothing is done, stop. Hold your baby—feel the way that tiny body strains to contain this giant soul—complete, and full of potential all at the same time. Take a deep, slow breath. Close your eyes and measure your day not as tasks, but as feelings, as sounds, as colors. Exhaustion is part of it. And it’s true, you will get “nothing” done. But the hard parts will fade. The intense, burning love is what remains, and it is yours to keep forever.

--> Mommy, Somebody Needs You

"Mommy means I just put the baby back down after her 4 a.m. feeding when a 3-year-old has a nightmare. Mommy means I am surviving on coffee and toddler leftovers. Mommy means my husband and I haven't had a real conversation in weeks. Mommy means I put their needs before my own, without a thought. Mommy means that my body is full of aches and my heart is full of love.

I am sure there will come a day when no one needs me. My babies will all be long gone and consumed with their own lives. I may sit alone in some assisted living facility watching my body fade away. No one will need me then. I may even be a burden. Sure, they will come visit, but my arms will no longer be their home. My kisses no longer their cure. There will be no more tiny boots to wipe the slush from or seat belts to be buckled. I will have read my last bedtime story, seven times in a row. I will no longer enforce time-outs. There will be no more bags to pack and unpack or snack cups to fill. I am sure my heart will yearn to hear those tiny voices calling out to me, "Mommy, somebody needs you!"

 It's 4am and I am exhausted and frustrated, but it's OK, she needs me. Just me. And maybe, I need her too. Because she makes me Mommy. Someday she will sleep through the night. Someday I will sit in my wheelchair, my arms empty, dreaming of those quiet nights in the nursery. When she needed me and we were the only two people in the world."

So every time someone tells me to stop holding her so often or I shouldn't let her fall asleep on my chest, in case she gets used to it, I always think about how I'll only have a few months left to enjoy these. Before she gets too heavy to be held. Before she gets too big to fall asleep on my chest. Before she starts sleeping through the night without requiring frequent nursing. Before she gets too old to breastfeed. Before I opt to wean her from my milk and cease pumping altogether. 

Breastfeeding is Mommy and Maddy time, that no one else can duplicate. Not even the yaya who is tasked with feeding her the bottle. So what if "masanay sya sa karga"? I'll worry about that when we get there. Right now, I've more important things to worry about. Like will my baby still recognize me after a full day of being at work. Will my baby still want to feed at mommy's breast or she might enjoy the bottle more. Will my baby miss me or she probably won't even notice I'm gone for the day. 

Maddy Turns 2 Months!

Maddy's aka Chu Bun [choo-boon] [秋闵 - her Hokkien name] is 2 months old today!

According to Internet sources:

1. "Your baby will now be sleeping for longer periods of time, around 2-3 hours."

Ehm. I'm lucky if she gets to sleep for more than 1 hour already. Extremely lucky if she hits 2 hours of sleep. Sometimes she'll sleep for 3 hours, but that's always at night, and just once.

2. "If being bottle fed (breastmilk), your 2-month old will take in around 24-30oz a day, or 2-3oz per bottle."

Maddy is a big eater, like me, apparently. She takes in 3oz per bottle. Though sometimes, she'll stop at around 1oz or 1.5oz, and just finish the rest an hour later.

3. "2-3oz is good for 2-3 hours of sleep."

Nope. Sometimes she asks for another bottle (of 3oz!) just an hour after her last bottle.

But, fortunately, I've been able to keep up so far with her demands. Meaning, my boobs are able to produce milk to replace the same volume that she just consumed. In short, di pako kinukulang.

It really is true. Your body will be able to supply what's demanded. "Trust in your milk supply", is what other mommies would tell me when I worry about whether or not I'll be able to keep up with my voracious eater.

4. "Your baby will be smiling more."

True! Kind of. She smiles at random though, not on cue.

5. "Your baby will start sleeping longer throughout the night."

Well. Define longer. During her first month, while other first-monthers were sleeping 2-3 hours already, Maddy was still waking up hourly. Now on her second month, she's started sleeping 2-3 hours, though other 2-monthers are sleeping 4-5 hours. 

So. She is sleeping longer...than last month.

6. "Sometime during the 4th week or so, your baby will get baby acne."

Yep!!! She had pimples on her cheeks, some on her chin! We were so worried if it was the detergent, our kisses, my hair, etc. Eventually, as what other parents assured me, the acne did go away. Something to do with hormones. Hers - not mine.

7. "Your baby's neck muscles are getting stronger and she will be able to start holding up her head for short periods of time while on tummy time."

Maddy's neck has been stronger since the first month. Such a malikot baby. She's able to hold her head longer already. 

In fact, she moves a whole lot, kicking her legs and thrashing with her arms. A runner and swimmer, just like her mommy!

I didn't join the IPI Sinulog Float this year, since I think Maddy's too young to be left alone with the yaya the entire day. But I still ordered a shirt, and Maddy and I dropped off her daddy at the IPI compound, where a coaster will take them to the float.

(she's such a hefty 2-month old)

Can't believe I go back to work tomorrow! I've been going over the logistics and other details involving my schedule and Maddy's milk with the yaya to make sure we don't miss out on anything.

First, in the morning before we leave the house, we transfer the milk from 5 storage cups to 5 milk bottles already. We fill up our Rubbermaid cooler with the 5 milk bottles, and 1 extra storage cup of milk. Yaya brings an empty/extra milk bottle. So far she's been consuming 2-3 bottles of milk when I leave her at the in-laws for the afternoon. So here's to hoping she'll only need to drink 4-5 in a day.

Second, I pack my Fridge-to-Go with my pump parts, 3 Medela storage containers, which can hold 5oz each (because they don't leak, unlike the Avent storage cups, so I don't want any mishaps on the way home, and because I don't want to bring the Maymom converter+Avent adaptor just to be able to pump directly into the cup), an extra Avent storage cup (when the Medela containers fill up) and a milk bottle (so I can pump directly into the bottle during my last session, which she can drink when we get home and I can exercise).

Third, sterilization will have to be done twice a day, once in the morning (to sterilize the container cups where we transferred the milk from and my pump parts from the night before) and once we get home (to sterilize all the milk bottles and the Medela storage containers used).

Fourth, I usually wake up and bring Maddy out to her yaya by 6:30am, so she can be taken down for her morning sun and I can pump out whichever's the engorged breast. I usually eat my oatmeal breakfast simultaneously but it looks like I'll have to eat breakfast in the office instead to save time. I'm aiming to be out of the house by 8am, which means Maddy has to be bathed, changed and fed before then. I'll need to shower right after pumping, because we can never tell if Maddy will be ready for her bath after her morning sun or she'll sleep in a bit, so I don't know what time she'll want to be fed (she's hungry when she wakes up but I nurse her after her bath instead). 

Cross fingers everything will go smoothly for tomorrow and for the workweeks to come. Also send positive vibes that I can easily pump out the same volume as what she's consuming/will consume for the day.

Maddy's Baptism

For most Filipino-Chinese, the baptism is celebrated at the same time as the baby's first birthday, which is referred to as 周晬 [Zhou Zui], or in Fookien - to tse.  Literally, to tse celebrates the baby's "one full year" and welcoming into the Chinese family.  Baptism, on the other hand, refers to the baby's welcome into God's family. The two occasions are jointly celebrated, primarily, I believe, to save on costs! However, we had ours when Maddy recently turned 7 weeks old.

A brief note on the paperwork involving a Catholic baptism --> First, we had to reserve a time slot with Sacred Heart Parish's baptistry. The reservation itself needed no payment or additional requirements.  However, the baptismal application needs to be submitted at least 2-3 days before the baptism ceremony itself. The application should be accompanied with: 

(a) the written approval/endorsement from the parish covering the territory where the parents live (in our case, it was St. Therese).  This was fairly easy to secure, though we needed to pay around Php500.00, if I remember correctly, and we needed to submit the photocopy of our marriage certificate and Maddy's Certificate of Live Birth and to present the original Certificate for comparison. We got the parish written approval/endorsement in less than 10 minutes;

(b) a photocopy of the marriage certificate and baby's Certificate of Live Birth; and

(c) a photocopy of the baptismal certificate of at least one (1) of the godparents, as proof that at least 1 of them is Catholic.

Second, the parents and at least a pair of godparents have to attend a pre-Jordan seminar at Sacred Heart, which is a seminar on what baptism is about, etc. Sacred Heart's schedule was only on Fridays, 7-8pm, and I disappeared about halfway through the seminar to pump breastmilk in the car. 

Third, you had to pay the parish Php100 for every godparent you had, and provide a stipend to the priest officiating the ceremony, if you were bringing your own. In our case, we invited Msgr. Ilde, also a friend of the family's, to officiate.

Maddy's baptism was slotted at 9am, though we started around 9:15am or so already since we arrived a bit late, due to traffic caused by closed/blocked roads for the Cebu Marathon that same morning. 

(drinking a bottle of earlier pumped milk so I wouldn't have to nurse during the ceremony)

(Maddy was squirming a lot and crying the entire time)

(apparently, the white baptismal gown is put on as part of the ceremony, signifying being shrouded in Christian dignity)

(with the ninongs and ninangs, with those from Manila flying in that morning just for the day)

(with my family who also flew in just for that day)

Lunch reception followed at The Ching Palace. It was just a small event, since we still have the first birthday party to save up for at the end of the year! We couldn't resist though at least having a dessert buffet! The cake was awesome as it was half banana sponge cake with choco-caramel filling, and half cookies and cream sponge cake with cookies and cream filling!

(the prettiest dessert buffet from LMG Pastry Chef! the cake was exactly as I had envisioned when I sent the owner my pegs)

It was a sweet and simple celebration, with close family and friends, and we couldn't be more thankful to all those who flew in from Manila just to celebrate with us.

*more pictures during the reception to follow as soon as I get ahold of the other camera used*

Maddy's First Month, First Christmas and First New Year!

By the time Christmas rolled over, Maddy had just turned a month old. [As of this writing, she's almost 7 weeks old already]

Take heed: a four-week old newborn has no schedule whatsoever. For one, newborns cannot distinguish day time and night time yet. While adult sleep is based on circadian rhythms, where our exposure to light guides our internal clock, newborns don't have a circadian rhythm yet.  Second, newborns really sleep more than adults do - around 15-16 hours a day, spread over several naps.

So for the first 4 weeks post-partum, I would cry in earnest out of exhaustion. She would be asleep in a consistent pattern of 2-3 hours during the day, but would be up and fussy at night. I was feeding her during the ungodly hours of 2am and 4am. Then I had to be up by 6:30am so I could hand her over to the yaya, so that they could go out for morning sunlight to prevent jaundice. I would then get around 30 minutes of sleep, before the yaya would knock on my door telling me Maddy wants to be fed. If I was lucky, sometimes I'd get an hour of sleep instead. 

I would handle the exhaustion by taking naps during the day when Maddy was also napping. I also had work-withdrawal symptoms. I have been so used to being so busy and active, that lounging around the house at my baby's beck and call was mentally draining. So I was checking my work emails during the first few weeks even if I was on maternity leave. I would also call up my officemates and just chat for a few minutes. 

Aside from napping, I credit surviving the first 4 weeks to the following:

1. My in-laws - They are really a godsend. My own family is in Manila, so aside from the visit from my siblings and a few friends, I was pretty much by my lonesome the whole day.  Maddy was mostly asleep though through all of the visits!

(Uncle Jeric and Kriska)

(Auntie Moe)

(Di-yi and Sah-yi)

(Auntie Miki and Leah)

My MIL would come here often, so she could help watch Maddy while I get my much needed rest. Since my brain also couldn't function the first couple of weeks to plan our house menu and groceries, my in-laws came over with food. When I started pumping to store milk, my MIL would watch Maddy for a few hours while I left the house to go to the mall to unwind.

(Mom)

2. Our Yaya Bibit - Yaya Bibit is our helper's aunt, which was a relief because at least she's not a random stranger. What I love about her is that she's already a mother to 3 kids, so she has a lot of experience with caring for newborns. She's also kind and very motherly. At first we were inclined to hire someone younger, who could work faster, and could read well (to recite and sing nursery rhymes and songs to Maddy). But after seeing how Yaya Bibit has been the past couple of months, I'm convinced we made the right decision. However, a word of advice regarding older yayas who are also themselves mothers - they will be used to a certain way of handling children as they have handled theirs, which may not be appealing to you. For example, Bibit has a habit of over-wrapping Maddy with blankets, convinced that it's cold ... when it's not. I keep telling her the city is not the same as the province, where it's cooler. She also pats Maddy to soothe her a bit too strongly than we'd like, so we point it out to her.

(At the Wong-Castillo Christmas Party; Yaya Bibit is a bit shy, didn't want to look at the camera)

3. Have a routine

No matter how unscheduled Maddy's first weeks were, I still tried to put a routine in place. This helps develop and set Maddy's biological clock. 

First, we always make sure it's bright with sunlight in her room or where she sleeps and we don't minimize regular daytime noises like the helper's radio, or the window to her room is open so the barking dogs and the neighbors' karaoke can still be heard. We just try to avoid really loud sounds which can wake her up like banging pots and pans.

Second, we try to have a regular morning bath time schedule between 7:30-8am. When I get back to work, we'll need to leave the house by 8am to drop her off at my in-laws', so I need Maddy to be used to waking up and getting ready at or before 8am.

Third, we talk, sing or play with her when she is awake. Sometimes, she prefers to quietly just move around in her crib so we just talk to her in equally quiet, soothing voices so we don't overstimulate her.

Fourth, we have a bedtime routine where at around 7-8pm when she's in between feeds or in a quiet-awake mode, we give her a sponge bath and change her into her pajamas. I then nurse her while either reading a story to her, playing her favorites like Michael Buble, Il Divo or Rod Stewart or also singing her favorites - A Whole New World, Can You Feel the Love Tonight, and classic Chinese songs which I still remember like 梅花, 龙的传人, 月亮代表我的心，or Andy Lau's 中国人! Haha!

We also make our bedroom, which is where she sleeps at night, "sleepy" by opening the aircon already, dimming the lights, and keeping our voices to a murmur.

The bedtime routine was hard to maintain over the holidays when dinners ran long and relatives would want to play or hold her even when she's sleepy, but we're back to regular programming now.

4. Keep a logbook

Lactation consultants and some midwives and pediatricians recommend keeping a log of the baby's feeding schedules (and for lactation consultants, which boob side did you feed with) and dirty/wet diapers, to monitor if the baby is being sufficiently fed.

For the first few weeks as I was getting a handle on breastfeeding and developing a proper milk supply, I would always note which boob side I fed with, so I would remember to feed with the other boob the next session. It was harder to remember that little detail before since I had so little sleep. Now though that I feel more like my regular self and considering that I've started pumping, it's easier to me to remember which boob I fed with, since it's the unoffered breast that I pump. 

My logbook contains her feeding times and sleeping times, including the number of or when a wet or dirty diaper was changed. Personally, I also added another column for how many hours/minutes of nap or sleep time I got within the day. I needed to do this because the only way I can pyschologically feel well-rested is if I know I've gotten an accumulated 6-7 hours of sleep. Yes, my sleep now is a sum total of naps. I have not had more than 2 hours of sleep at one time since I gave birth.

(my logbook and sample entry page)

Keeping a logbook helps make me feel like I have a handle on things, even if I may not. It gives me a sense of security knowing all these little details, because sometimes I recognize a pattern. Like I can tell when and how long she usually cluster feeds (early evening or midnight, for 3 hours usually), how many diapers she goes through in a day (8-10 now, 10-12 before), how long she needs to feed before she's satiated, when her longer sleep hours are (after her bath and also around 1-2am).

Her first Christmas and New Year, as are also my firsts here in Cebu, were relatively uneventful. Christmas Eve was spent at Auntie Estee's house, where we stayed til 2am (good thing I took a nap that afternoon).

(the cousins goofing around at the Wong Christmas Eve dinner)

(whipped!)

 (obligatory family picture on Christmas Day)

 (Merry Christmas from the Wongs!)

We also had a Christmas dinner at the in-laws with the Tiu side. The great thing with having these dinners in someone's house instead of at a restaurant is I can easily breastfeed.

(feeding the extra-fussy little girl that evening)

(Merry Christmas from the Tius!)

On New Year's Eve, we were just at home and the in-laws were staying over since the fireworks were better from our balcony than theirs. Aunt Mimi invited us over to their condo in the next tower for media noche, but I didn't really want to leave Maddy behind, so we celebrated New Year's with her feeding just a few minutes before midnight and until a few minutes into the new year.

(Happy New Year!) 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

Pumping with my Medela Swing and Medela Harmony

When did I start pumping?

As I mentioned in my previous post, I started pumping 4 weeks post-partum to test out if Maddy would take a bottle. So far she has been, but we're trying to make the milk flow slower by making her more upright when she drinks and holding the bottle at a 45-degree angle or lower to mimic the position of a mother's breast/nipple.

How often do I pump?

I started pumping at a time when Maddy was really feeding almost hourly. In order for me to be able to store milk even while nursing her the whole day, I had to pump little by little 30 minutes before or after her feed.

It's been 2-3 weeks that I've been doing this, so my breasts are now used to being pumped almost hourly; if not, they already feel heavy and tingly. At most, I went without pumping for 2.5 hours, but my breasts were already really heavy and full by then.

I've heard that pumping in the morning yields more milk, so I pump most of my milk right after I hand Maddy over to the yaya for her morning sunlight at 6:30am, mid-morning, noon, and early afternoon. By early afternoon or evening I don't pump anymore, or I only pump out maybe 1 oz to get a head start on next day, because (1) Maddy usually cluster feeds early afternoon or in the evening so I want to make sure I have enough milk for her needs; and (2) my pump parts need to be sterilized at the end of the day so I don't want to use them after sterilizing, only to pump for a short while and sterilize them all over again before I sleep.

Now, Maddy is starting to sleep longer - around 1.5-2 hours, but I still pump hourly since it's better to pump more frequently to stimulate milk production.

How much do I pump?

I pump based on how much milk Maddy takes in per bottle. After a couple of trial and errors (when we first introduced 2-oz, she still cried out for more. So we increased gradually until she was satisfied with how much she got from a bottle, which was around 3 oz), we confirmed that Maddy wants 3 oz per bottle feed.

I therefore pump to store 3-oz breastmilk per container. I can usually produce 2 to 2 1/2 containers of 3-oz each in a full day while nursing Maddy too.

How much do I pump out every session?

Since I generally pump hourly or every 2 hours, I don't really get the full 3-oz immediately per session. In the early morning, I can pump out 2-oz out of a full breast.  Throughout the day, I get half to a full ounce per breast every session.

In each session, I usually only pump the breast that wasn't offered for the last feeding. It's better that I offer only one breast during feeding and let Maddy empty it out, then just pump the unoffered breast after. Not only do I yield more milk that way and get both the foremilk and hindmilk, but also by emptying out a breast each feeding, I can stimulate more milk production (milk production slows when milk accumulates in the breast).

How do I store the milk?

I use Avent containers or the milk bottles with sealing discs to refrigerated breastmilk I'll be using within 6-8 days. For my freezer stash, I use milk bags.  I always have a Sharpie and masking tape in my pump bag or everywhere in the house, so I can always label my containers or bags with the date and time (and amount, for the bags) of when I pumped the milk.

At any one time, I have at least 5 containers of refrigerated breastmilk. If they go past the 6-day mark without being consumed, I transfer them to milk bags for freezing.  When I start working, I aim to always maintain 10-15 containers/bottles of refrigerated breastmilk for Maddy's consumption when I'm at work. I expect that she'll take in at least 5 bottles daily - 1 in the morning, 1 right before noon and 3 in the afternoon.

Since I don't pump out 3-oz fully from each session, I just put the container with less than 3-oz of milk in the ref and keep adding to it during the day after each session. My rule is, I can add freshly expressed milk to an already refrigerated or cooled one throughout the day or within 24 hours. The label, however, reflects the date and time of when you expressed the first/earliest portion of the milk.

I have not yet tried adding cooled breastmilk to an already frozen stash.

How do I bottle feed?

Babies can smell their mommies, more specifically, their mommies' milk. They will not take a bottle from their mother since they know that they can get the milk directly from her breast. This is true! I've tried to bottle feed her with my own breastmilk a couple of times - she will not take them from me! Try not to be in the same area as the baby is when she is being bottle fed. If she senses your presence or gets a whiff of your eau de milk, she might refuse the bottle altogether.

Have someone else bottle feed the baby, like hubby, in-law or the yaya. And for the first couple of bottle feed sessions, drape a piece of your unlaundered shirt or blouse (like your pajama top from the night before) over the one bottle-feeding, to comfort the baby with your scent as you introduce the bottle.

(the dad, trying to bottle feed)

Also, find the right bottle nipple.  We use Avent Natural bottles, as they have breast-like nipples. We use the nipples that came with the 4-oz bottles, which are the newborn flow nipples with 1 hole.

In addition, pace your bottle feeds. Try to draw the baby's mouth into the bottle nipple, instead of forcing or pushing the nipple inside the baby's mouth. Mimic the behaviour of how the baby breastfeeds, which is, the baby is the one who approaches the nipple and the nipple is usually at a level position, with baby's body facing yours. It's not tipped down to the baby's mouth, with the baby on her back. The bottom of the bottle should not be tipped towards the sky. Try to pause once in a while, similar to how the baby pauses as he/she drinks from the mother's breast. Remember that it'll be hard for the baby to feel full if he/she consumes the milk from the bottle too fast. He/she might ask for more milk even if it's not needed.

For Maddy's first bottle feed, it was the yaya who fed her the bottle, with me peeking inside from the door.

(Maddy's first ever bottle feed)

To avoid nipple confusion, we started introducing the bottle one day at a time, and only during the times when I will be at work. For example, we only feed her a bottle anytime from 8:30am to noontime, and 1:30-5:30pm.

How do I pump using the Medela Swing?

It's pretty straightforward in the sense that just switch the motor on, go through the 2-minute stimulation phase, and then it proceeds to the expression stage.

However, as I don't have the time or patience for the entire thing sometimes (fine, most times), I massage my breast first and express a few drops of milk before I start pumping. I skip the stimulation phase entirely as I've already kickstarted the "let-down".

As the Swing pumps, I simultaneously breast compress.  No, breast compression is not squeezing the breast.  I just use my hand to apply pressure to certain parts of the breast while pumping, to get more out of the ducts/milk nodules. I pump out the milk faster, and I feel like I more effectively empty the breast this way.  They advise to pump 15-20 minutes per breast, but I usually pump in half the time because of how effective breast compression is.

Why do I have a Medela Harmony manual pump?

The Medela Harmony is a single, manual pump, designed supposedly just for occasional pumping. Its assembly of the handle+diaphragm+o-ring enables the 2-phase expression as with the Medela Swing (stimulation and expression) and other electric pumps.

I chose to get a manual pump in addition to my electric pump, and still a Medela model at that, because I need a more portable pump to bring around in malls or during dinner-outs. The Medela Swing just isn't compact enough for me, particularly because I also need to bring the heavy transformer around (since I bought mine online, at 110 volts). If I need to use the Swing without the power adaptor, I'll need 4 AA batteries, which is only good for 2 hours of pumping. Not practical at all.

And to be fair, while the Harmony may not be able to get as much milk as the Swing does (because breast compression is harder to do with a manual pump than with an electric, since I have to continuously pull on the handle with one hand), I can still get at least an ounce with every manual pump session. And for someone who is expressing to store 3-oz, an ounce is very precious already.

Plus, since they're both Medela brands, they both use the same breast shield, stem and valve+membrane assembly! At least when a set is being sterilized, I have an additional set to use which I can just store in the refrigerator after my late night session to be sterilized the next day.

When I go out, I only need to pack the breast shield+stem+valve assembly, and the Harmony's handle+O-ring assembly!

(the Harmony's handle and O-ring)

Do I take lactation aids?

For now, yes.  I've tried the oatmeal and chocolate chip lactation cookies and banana oat muffin lactation bites from Mommy Treats.  I'm also currently going through the dark chocolate lactation cookies I ordered from Sweet Spot Homemade Cookies.  I also take Natalac malunggay capsules.

Lactation treats are called such because they contain ingredients that are referred to as "galactagogues", like fenugreek and blessed thistle.

Do they all work? I think they do! But I don't depend on these aids entirely for my milk supply. They're here to supplement what I already have. Their purpose is not to create milk from nowhere. Plus, they have certain side effects, such as causing gassiness in the mom and/or the baby.

I don't rely heavily on lactation treats and just continue taking oatmeal and Milo for breakfast (oatmeal and Milo believed to also help increase milk supply). Also, I drink a lot of soup, those with malunggay, with lapu lapu and with shellfish, which are also believed to significantly aid in breastmilk production.