Me to Maddy (crying while feeding): "It's not you, it's me."
"Feck! You spit up your milk! Gah, there's milk in my hair! And my pajamas! And your sleeper! And your receiving blanket!" .. Should I change? .. Nah, I'm too tired."
"You're such a rabid dog when you feed."
"Here, let's take a selfie so I will always remember that you kept me up til 5am feeding, and you only fell asleep when I settled down on the bed in a weird angle with all 6 pounds of you laying down heavily on my chest. Doesn't matter if I can't breathe properly, if this gets me 30minutes of sleep."
"I have trained and raced with fewer hours of sleep than this. Bring it."
"I've always been a light sleeper. I think I was made that way in preparation for this."
"I can't remember the last time I had more than 2 hours of sleep at one time."
(Changing diapers) "Please don't wake up please don't wake up please don't wake up."
(Changing diapers part II) "There! Don't you feel nice and ready to sleep longer with fresh diapers?!" (then she poops in the new diapers) "Crap."
"Love you Maddy ... zzzzz"
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